Speaking and Listening

by Kelly Knowlden

Kids often think of parents as lecturers. If a parent wants the kid to know something, the parent tells him what it is that he wants the kid to know. This is the reason for the “Wah wah-wah, wah-wah” sound used in Charlie Brown TV specials when the teacher or parent is giving instruction.

And there is good reason for parents to give instruction. The Bible tells parents in many places to speak words of instruction: (implied) “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Prov. 1:8. Children do need instruction and we do need to give it.

However, that being said, we also need to be wise in listening to our children. I often tell teachers that if the child wants to chase rabbits, then you chase rabbits. Here is what I mean: You are talking to your child about good work habits and they say that they have a hard time concentrating. Rather than telling them that they need to concentrate, ask them what they mean by that. Or, ask them why they don’t seem to have a hard time concentrating on things that they like to do. Or ask if there is some- thing about this particular subject that makes it hard to concentrate. The questions are limitless! Then if they respond with, “Well, I mean that I am thinking about the game I was playing and could not get that out of my head,” more questions will help dissect and refine the problem.

Of course, there will be need to give them the truth of coming to the One who stands with His arms open wide ready to help. That spiritual component of help can only be given if you, as the parent, have really listened to your child and know what it is that they need to hear from God’s Word.

My prayer is that at the end of this year, we all would be further in our ability to hear what our children are saying and speak to their spiritual needs from the truth of God’s Word.