by Kelly Knowlden
Did you know that newborn children pick up on tone of voice first—before they ever understand what the words spoken mean? That continues for a long time into adolescence. Children learn that the tone of voice often conveys what is meant.
Here is a parent problem. Why do children ignore a teacher, even when the teacher is calling their name? I wonder if it is because the student doesn’t have a context for the words that are spoken and is relying on the tone of the words to convey meaning. So rather than having the words, “No, you may not talk now,” spoken in an even tone and without any ‘edge’ to them, mean that the child cannot talk - instead it means that because there is no raised volume, no threat, no frustration lining the words, then the teacher must not mean it.
In some ways, what we want to be doing as parents is raising children who are tone deaf. That is, they are more concerned with the information-value of the words spoken [what they mean] rather than the tonal-value [how they are spoken]. What this requires is to generally be using the same tone in our speech whether we are instructing, whether we are reasoning or whether we are directing or giving commands. The words themselves need to carry the weight of our intentions.
Another thing this presupposes is our understanding the nature of authority. It will require us to remember that as a parent in the home, I speak with the authority of being a vice-regent of God Himself. He has given parents the task of raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. He has required us to be the ones who put ‘feet’ to understanding and communicating His ways to the next generation. God gave that task to parents in families. Therefore, a primary task is to make the words you speak be words of life-giving direction with a tone that does not detract from the message. I need help doing that. Thankfully, Jesus Christ has sent us a Helper in the form of His Spirit. Let’s rely on Him today.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
Battles for the Heart
by Kelly Knowlden
“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings.”
The book of Proverbs is a practical book of wisdom. It gives the story of how the world works. Many of the sayings are not addressing the issues of “why” one should do what is being extolled, but rather what are the outcomes of the practice. The proverb above (Prov. 22:29) is one of those. It is simply saying that a man who becomes skilled in what he does will be valued.
So how does that work? How does a man become skilled in his work? He learns the hard battle of how to overcome his desires to “kick back” when he thinks that he has done his task. He learns that when the dishes are washed, he will also clean out the sink trap. He understands that when he is done practicing his assigned piano lesson, he will practice some scales or finger exercises that are not assigned. He learns his own propensities toward laziness or “getting by” and decides to not give in to them. He begins to experience the accolades of praise when he does well from those who care for him. Those in his world identify with the struggle and do not point fingers as though they are foreign to the experience of laziness. The “boss” in his life will also bring appropriate censure (it is always inconvenient and usually carries a degree of pain - like delaying his supper if work is not done!) that fits the deed. He will learn through regular discussions about the other proverbs that tell how the world works. (“All work brings a profit, but mere talk leads to poverty,” [14:23] or, “One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.” [18:9]) He will learn that his handwriting matters. He will not come up with excuses that “get him off the hook.” He will own his errors. He will do all parts of the directions, not skip steps or come up with short-cuts that “get the right answer” but do not show the work.
All of these are battles that parents must fight and help their children learn to fight as well. Regular investment into the book of Proverbs will help accomplish the practical wisdom and will make our children be people of influence.
“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings.”
The book of Proverbs is a practical book of wisdom. It gives the story of how the world works. Many of the sayings are not addressing the issues of “why” one should do what is being extolled, but rather what are the outcomes of the practice. The proverb above (Prov. 22:29) is one of those. It is simply saying that a man who becomes skilled in what he does will be valued.
So how does that work? How does a man become skilled in his work? He learns the hard battle of how to overcome his desires to “kick back” when he thinks that he has done his task. He learns that when the dishes are washed, he will also clean out the sink trap. He understands that when he is done practicing his assigned piano lesson, he will practice some scales or finger exercises that are not assigned. He learns his own propensities toward laziness or “getting by” and decides to not give in to them. He begins to experience the accolades of praise when he does well from those who care for him. Those in his world identify with the struggle and do not point fingers as though they are foreign to the experience of laziness. The “boss” in his life will also bring appropriate censure (it is always inconvenient and usually carries a degree of pain - like delaying his supper if work is not done!) that fits the deed. He will learn through regular discussions about the other proverbs that tell how the world works. (“All work brings a profit, but mere talk leads to poverty,” [14:23] or, “One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.” [18:9]) He will learn that his handwriting matters. He will not come up with excuses that “get him off the hook.” He will own his errors. He will do all parts of the directions, not skip steps or come up with short-cuts that “get the right answer” but do not show the work.
All of these are battles that parents must fight and help their children learn to fight as well. Regular investment into the book of Proverbs will help accomplish the practical wisdom and will make our children be people of influence.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Fun
by Kelly Knowlden
I love to “have fun.” So do children. Can I bring a distinction to you that will help your children as you discuss this with them?
There is a type of behavior that would be perfectly okay in your backyard but which is never appropriate at school—both inside the building and at after-school events. The friendly tussling that may be okay at home, should not take place here. Here is the distinction that you will want to make sure your children understand. Hitting, pinching, punching, and kicking are never appropriate—even for fun. Slapping someone on the back (always harder than friendship would merit) with a “How are you?” is not appropriate. Pinching someone’s cheeks with a playful pretense of being Grandma “Oh, you’re so cute!” is not appropriate. Pummeling another is never appropriate. Why?
God has called us to remember the inherent image of God borne by all people. This demands us to respect the person and their property. Familiarity with one another's bodies breeds disrespect that allows the mind to have NO stopping point in behavior towards one another. I have had children stomp on my toe, kick me in the shins, and have not hesitation to come and take a pen from my pocket... all for fun!
Because we need to continually hold out a high standard of behavior, we will be continually holding out the awareness of this to students. Wrestling, tussling, punching, hitting (even with lunch boxes) is inappropriate - EVEN WHEN IT IS DONE AS A MATTER OF TEASING OR FOR FUN!
This is true regardless of age. We want our young men and women to not mimic the casual attitudes toward other’s person or their things. Please keep your eyes open for how this looks at home... not the tussling, but the inappropriate handling of one another.
I love to “have fun.” So do children. Can I bring a distinction to you that will help your children as you discuss this with them?
There is a type of behavior that would be perfectly okay in your backyard but which is never appropriate at school—both inside the building and at after-school events. The friendly tussling that may be okay at home, should not take place here. Here is the distinction that you will want to make sure your children understand. Hitting, pinching, punching, and kicking are never appropriate—even for fun. Slapping someone on the back (always harder than friendship would merit) with a “How are you?” is not appropriate. Pinching someone’s cheeks with a playful pretense of being Grandma “Oh, you’re so cute!” is not appropriate. Pummeling another is never appropriate. Why?
God has called us to remember the inherent image of God borne by all people. This demands us to respect the person and their property. Familiarity with one another's bodies breeds disrespect that allows the mind to have NO stopping point in behavior towards one another. I have had children stomp on my toe, kick me in the shins, and have not hesitation to come and take a pen from my pocket... all for fun!
Because we need to continually hold out a high standard of behavior, we will be continually holding out the awareness of this to students. Wrestling, tussling, punching, hitting (even with lunch boxes) is inappropriate - EVEN WHEN IT IS DONE AS A MATTER OF TEASING OR FOR FUN!
This is true regardless of age. We want our young men and women to not mimic the casual attitudes toward other’s person or their things. Please keep your eyes open for how this looks at home... not the tussling, but the inappropriate handling of one another.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Important People in Education
by Kelly Knowlden
William Bennett, former education secretary for the United States under Ronald Reagan, has said that “The single most important adult in a child’s life is the parent. The single most important thing about the education of a child needs to be the parent and the parent’s attitude toward education...” He amplifies that by mentioning that a parent can be illiterate and not be able to do any homework with the student, but still hold out to the kid that “this is important.” He can make the child understand the value of work by turning off the TV and stressing that the child must listen to the teacher.
The second most important person in the education of children is the teacher. Mr. Bennett’s comment is that “the research is clear: you are much better off is a bad school with a good teacher than a supposedly really good school with a bad teacher.” He goes on to say that it really is not about class size. That is an issue that is touted by teacher’s unions as a reason for failure, but in truth, is not statistically defensible.
At Immanuel Christian School, we suggest that the most important person in education is Jesus Christ. He is the One who wrote the “operator’s manual” of each endeavor of study. [Psalm 111:2: Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them.] He is the One who gives understanding of how things are made and work together. [Psalm 119:27 Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders.] He enlightens man’s heart in knowing how to live in a broken world. [Ecclesiastes 2:14 The wise man has eyes in his head, while the fool walks in the darkness;] He helps men understand their own brokenness and need for help. [Proverbs 14:16 A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.]
The most significant person in education is Jesus Christ. You, as the most important person in your child’s life, need to be reading of Him and His wisdom everyday to your children. Otherwise, the foolishness of the world’s wisdom will win.
William Bennett, former education secretary for the United States under Ronald Reagan, has said that “The single most important adult in a child’s life is the parent. The single most important thing about the education of a child needs to be the parent and the parent’s attitude toward education...” He amplifies that by mentioning that a parent can be illiterate and not be able to do any homework with the student, but still hold out to the kid that “this is important.” He can make the child understand the value of work by turning off the TV and stressing that the child must listen to the teacher.
The second most important person in the education of children is the teacher. Mr. Bennett’s comment is that “the research is clear: you are much better off is a bad school with a good teacher than a supposedly really good school with a bad teacher.” He goes on to say that it really is not about class size. That is an issue that is touted by teacher’s unions as a reason for failure, but in truth, is not statistically defensible.
At Immanuel Christian School, we suggest that the most important person in education is Jesus Christ. He is the One who wrote the “operator’s manual” of each endeavor of study. [Psalm 111:2: Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them.] He is the One who gives understanding of how things are made and work together. [Psalm 119:27 Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders.] He enlightens man’s heart in knowing how to live in a broken world. [Ecclesiastes 2:14 The wise man has eyes in his head, while the fool walks in the darkness;] He helps men understand their own brokenness and need for help. [Proverbs 14:16 A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.]
The most significant person in education is Jesus Christ. You, as the most important person in your child’s life, need to be reading of Him and His wisdom everyday to your children. Otherwise, the foolishness of the world’s wisdom will win.
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