Grades Are NOT Important

by Kelly Knowlden

As parents, we sometimes emphasize grades in ways that undermine what we really want.  Let me show you what I mean.

Your child gets a “D” or “F” notice in the mail.  You are upset.  You want them to do well.

However, how we respond is usually our problem.  We need to remember that the grade is an ALERT.  It is saying, “Something is not working right.”  Our job as parents is to find out the problem and then solve it without focusing on the grade.  For example, why is your student not doing well?  Is it the amount of time they study?  Is it the way they study (sit and stare at the information to memorize it)?   Is it a disconnect in their learning?  Is it their refusal to do work?  Is it their distraction during class so that they really don’t listen well (draw pictures, stare out window, play with pencil, try to do other homework)?  You see, there are many factors that caused the low grade and we need to find out what combination of issues needs our attention in solving it. 

This is where the teachers and administration come in.  First, our teachers are all ready for a phone call during after school hours if something is not right.  (This includes amount of work, something not understood by the student and general help.)  Then if that doesn’t seem to solve the overall problem, call the office and talk to me

Whatever you do, do not tell your child that you are displeased with the grades.  We are more concerned with that which is reflected by the grade - “what problems need solving?”  If a student is doing the work and being diligent in it, generally the grades that you desire will follow.  (If grades do not improve, that is a different issue which I would also be glad to talk to you about.)