by Kelly Knowlden
The Frown-of-Disapproval, The-Knitting-of-the-Eyebrows, and The-I’m-Disappointed-With-You-Statement undermines your work as a parent. We should NOT be conveying to our children that they somehow have made us unhappy. Why?
Children who live with those pressures soon realize that they must “perform” to win Mom and Dad’s approval. Because they are sinners, they also learn pretty quickly that they do more that displeases than makes their parents happy. It also makes the whole issue of training to be about us. Here is what I mean.
I did not make up the moral code that I want my children to live by. God did. Therefore, when they disobey, or are disrespectful, the issue is really not about me or my feelings or what I like. They have broken the Law of God. I become the mediator. I must bring to them life giving words that are corrective. (Do they understand what they did? Do they understand why it is wrong? Do they know that ultimately their offense is toward God?) I must make the discipline match God’s directives...measured and appropriate to the offense. And I must make sure that they know that I love them and that I am on their side. (“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Heb. 12:11) I love it when I get to talk to your children in my office. It is an opportunity to participate in the work of the Holy Spirit by drawing alongside to help in bringing life giving words of truth to them.
