by Kelly Knowlden
Why does an authority have authority to speak? In America, we believe that Presidents speak because they have been granted authority by the people, police have authority because they wear a uniform and drive a special car, and journalists have authority because they have investigated an incident and report what they saw. All of those are poor reasons for students who question everything that a person says. (This happens to most young people about the time of high school.)
Authority generally means having the right or power to direct the actions or thoughts of another. In a vertical world, that right ultimately rests in the Author (notice the similarity to authority) of the universe. God has given certain positions authority. The position holds the authority. The person fills the position. There are various layers of civil authority. There is ecclesiastical authority. There is familial authority. Each of these positions, and many more, derives their authority from God. The person that fills the position may not be smarter, bigger, wiser, better educated, more noble, or have any other qualities that would make him a good leader. However, because the position holds authority, the person must be heeded when he speaks.
Parents must be continually vigilant in living out and talking about this vertical world. A parent’s authority will naturally wane as children leave the home. But living under a parent’s authority prepares children for living in a world where they will be told what to do by other authorities.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Horizontal World
by Kelly Knowlden
An ad in a parent magazine caught my eye. A cute baby was laying on the floor with his diapers on but turning himself over. It read: “How to change a rolling pin.” It then went on to describe fairly accurately what changing a wiggling baby is like. It closed with the words: “Got a squirmy baby? Just catch, slip on, release!” Great - a solution to a big problem! The idea of teaching the baby to
lay still was not even a thought to be had.
I suppose that teaching him to eat his carrots, or to make his bed, or to put the car keys away, or to be in by 11:00, all fall into the same category. After all, what is so important about eating carrots or making his bed anyway? And by the time he is old enough to be out at 11:00, he must be old enough to make his own decisions.
The reality is that by the time he is old enough to be out at 11:00, parents will not be able to tell him anything anyway. His world will be horizontal. He will be their equal. Parents will have trained him to NOT hear their words.
The book of Proverbs teaches us something different. In this book, the world is vertical. There is an authority that has the responsibility to pass on what is important because the child is not able to determine that. “Listen, my son…” are the repeated words throughout the book. The purpose is to show the son that we need Someone outside ourselves to determine what is important. It starts with “Listen my son… lay still while your diaper is being changed…”
An ad in a parent magazine caught my eye. A cute baby was laying on the floor with his diapers on but turning himself over. It read: “How to change a rolling pin.” It then went on to describe fairly accurately what changing a wiggling baby is like. It closed with the words: “Got a squirmy baby? Just catch, slip on, release!” Great - a solution to a big problem! The idea of teaching the baby to
lay still was not even a thought to be had.
I suppose that teaching him to eat his carrots, or to make his bed, or to put the car keys away, or to be in by 11:00, all fall into the same category. After all, what is so important about eating carrots or making his bed anyway? And by the time he is old enough to be out at 11:00, he must be old enough to make his own decisions.
The reality is that by the time he is old enough to be out at 11:00, parents will not be able to tell him anything anyway. His world will be horizontal. He will be their equal. Parents will have trained him to NOT hear their words.
The book of Proverbs teaches us something different. In this book, the world is vertical. There is an authority that has the responsibility to pass on what is important because the child is not able to determine that. “Listen, my son…” are the repeated words throughout the book. The purpose is to show the son that we need Someone outside ourselves to determine what is important. It starts with “Listen my son… lay still while your diaper is being changed…”
Monday, October 17, 2011
Homework
by Kelly Knowlden
“Go do your homework,” seems like a simple enough command. And it is for those who have been trained to do homework. But I am concerned that children and young people are often told to go do their homework without interactions from parents. I know that by seventh or eighth grade, the math becomes more difficult than parents can remember. But really that does not matter.
Reading or any subject that requires reading, is an opportunity for you to interact with the world that is being presented in the text and guide your child’s thinking about it. Math is an opportunity to interact with the world of numbers. My kids knew that when Dad asked math questions, he was clueless about what should be on the paper, but they always enjoyed me saying, “Oh, goodie! Let me help you with your trig!”
Parents studying spelling with their children until there are no more spelling tests shows that you are interested in them. Asking them vocabulary words can make learning fun. Reviewing work sheets helps them organize thought. (My wife and I had multiple refresher courses on the history of the world, space science and on every topic that was a term paper until the twelfth grade.)
Homework is exactly that. It is work to be done at home… in your home… with you. There is no alternative that is better. Train up a child in the way he should go… involves being with your child and helping them think about the world. Homework provides a valuable means to do that. Try, “Come, let’s do your homework.”
“Go do your homework,” seems like a simple enough command. And it is for those who have been trained to do homework. But I am concerned that children and young people are often told to go do their homework without interactions from parents. I know that by seventh or eighth grade, the math becomes more difficult than parents can remember. But really that does not matter.
Reading or any subject that requires reading, is an opportunity for you to interact with the world that is being presented in the text and guide your child’s thinking about it. Math is an opportunity to interact with the world of numbers. My kids knew that when Dad asked math questions, he was clueless about what should be on the paper, but they always enjoyed me saying, “Oh, goodie! Let me help you with your trig!”
Parents studying spelling with their children until there are no more spelling tests shows that you are interested in them. Asking them vocabulary words can make learning fun. Reviewing work sheets helps them organize thought. (My wife and I had multiple refresher courses on the history of the world, space science and on every topic that was a term paper until the twelfth grade.)
Homework is exactly that. It is work to be done at home… in your home… with you. There is no alternative that is better. Train up a child in the way he should go… involves being with your child and helping them think about the world. Homework provides a valuable means to do that. Try, “Come, let’s do your homework.”
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Let's Go Fly a Kite
by Kelly Knowlden
In 1964, Walt Disney produced a movie based on a book by P.L. Travers called “Mary Poppins.” The plot is really tied to an aloof father and loving but distracted mother who are busy with life and leave the raising of the children to a stream of nannies that are ineffective. Julie Andrews comes into this regimented, stuffy family as a very different kind of nanny and sings her way into the children’s (and eventually the parents’) hearts.
The importance of this film is that it critiques parenting. Today, the story is no different. Fathers of any era are often caught up with providing for the needs of the family and mothers are often busy with life’s needs of keeping families on track. This often results in aloof and distracted parents. And the nanny of today often is some electronic gizmo that occupies children with the fun that they want and long for.
The missing element is family relationships...families doing things together...families engaged in conversations…families reading and thinking together. It is the community aspect of relationships that we all need and want. This will come only as families remember what is really important.
How to do that? Ask 100 questions. Make them specific. “How did Spanish class go today?” Or “Who did you sit beside at lunch today?’ “What did you read in reading class?” Once you prime them, and that takes work, go after the homework story. “What do you need to do in algebra?” (I know that you probably don’t remember much algebra - but that doesn’t matter!) Ask them, “Now why is that number there?” Interact with them. Show that you are interested in what they are doing. Sit down with them.
This investment takes time. You only have a few years with them. Then they will be gone. Perhaps you could go fly a kite with them...
In 1964, Walt Disney produced a movie based on a book by P.L. Travers called “Mary Poppins.” The plot is really tied to an aloof father and loving but distracted mother who are busy with life and leave the raising of the children to a stream of nannies that are ineffective. Julie Andrews comes into this regimented, stuffy family as a very different kind of nanny and sings her way into the children’s (and eventually the parents’) hearts.
The importance of this film is that it critiques parenting. Today, the story is no different. Fathers of any era are often caught up with providing for the needs of the family and mothers are often busy with life’s needs of keeping families on track. This often results in aloof and distracted parents. And the nanny of today often is some electronic gizmo that occupies children with the fun that they want and long for.
The missing element is family relationships...families doing things together...families engaged in conversations…families reading and thinking together. It is the community aspect of relationships that we all need and want. This will come only as families remember what is really important.
How to do that? Ask 100 questions. Make them specific. “How did Spanish class go today?” Or “Who did you sit beside at lunch today?’ “What did you read in reading class?” Once you prime them, and that takes work, go after the homework story. “What do you need to do in algebra?” (I know that you probably don’t remember much algebra - but that doesn’t matter!) Ask them, “Now why is that number there?” Interact with them. Show that you are interested in what they are doing. Sit down with them.
This investment takes time. You only have a few years with them. Then they will be gone. Perhaps you could go fly a kite with them...
Monday, October 3, 2011
Say "Yes"
by Kelly Knowlden
Similar to last week’s note concerning the frown of disapproval, we need to listen to ourselves to hear how often “No!” comes out of our mouth. “Don’t do that!” “Stop,” and “I’ve told you a hundred times..” are relatives of the word ‘no.’
I want to say “yes” to as much as possible in life. I want to convey to students that what they are asking is possible whenever possible. Do they want to run in the halls. The answer is “yes, that sounds like fun!!!” (I mean if you were a kid, and you saw this long uninterrupted floor space— wouldn’t you want to run?) However, I must quickly add, “You know, maybe we can have a race down the hall someday. But right now is not the time. Perhaps if you join after school basketball or track, you can join the running-in-the-hall club.”
Do they want to play hide and seek in the clothing racks at the mall? You bet! I’ve been tempted to that myself. Do they have toys in school. Sure. Even 7th graders keep little plastic critters in their pocket. So if I meet all the possible wrong-doings with “NO! Stop that!” I will create in my home or school, a critical, cynical, negative, joyless atmosphere that does not convey the truth about God and His world.
Here is what I mean. Is the God you serve One who looks down over the vault of heaven and sees people enjoying themselves and scowlingly shouts, “Cut it out!”? If so, He is not the God of the Bible. The God of heaven is instead One who looks down on the sons of men with His arms open wide and calls, “Come to Me!”
And so we come… and become like a little child. “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Enjoy the world as a child does and say, “Yes.”
Similar to last week’s note concerning the frown of disapproval, we need to listen to ourselves to hear how often “No!” comes out of our mouth. “Don’t do that!” “Stop,” and “I’ve told you a hundred times..” are relatives of the word ‘no.’
I want to say “yes” to as much as possible in life. I want to convey to students that what they are asking is possible whenever possible. Do they want to run in the halls. The answer is “yes, that sounds like fun!!!” (I mean if you were a kid, and you saw this long uninterrupted floor space— wouldn’t you want to run?) However, I must quickly add, “You know, maybe we can have a race down the hall someday. But right now is not the time. Perhaps if you join after school basketball or track, you can join the running-in-the-hall club.”
Do they want to play hide and seek in the clothing racks at the mall? You bet! I’ve been tempted to that myself. Do they have toys in school. Sure. Even 7th graders keep little plastic critters in their pocket. So if I meet all the possible wrong-doings with “NO! Stop that!” I will create in my home or school, a critical, cynical, negative, joyless atmosphere that does not convey the truth about God and His world.
Here is what I mean. Is the God you serve One who looks down over the vault of heaven and sees people enjoying themselves and scowlingly shouts, “Cut it out!”? If so, He is not the God of the Bible. The God of heaven is instead One who looks down on the sons of men with His arms open wide and calls, “Come to Me!”
And so we come… and become like a little child. “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Enjoy the world as a child does and say, “Yes.”
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